Thursday, December 13, 2018

The Cure for Fear of Missing Out (F.O.M.O.)

Fear of missing out.

A feeling I'm sure almost everyone has experienced.

One moment you are scrolling through your feed, enjoying the creative pics your friends take, and in the next you are wishing you had bought Taylor Swift tickets too.

OR that you were at the party. The coffee shop. In that country. With your significant other at the party in the coffee shop in some other country.

You end up wishing you were anywhere but where you are in that moment.

While you're bogged down with real world responsibilities -- work, school, dishes, laundry, etc. -- someone else is out living YOUR dream.

Are you familiar with this feeling?

Every once in a while, I will find myself falling into this trap of coveting someone else's life. It was really bad during my high school years, when I lived online, but now that I've stepped back, I can see how damaging that mindset was.

Because even when I WAS doing something outside my normal routine, something others could be envious of, it didn't feel like enough.

My brain kept telling me I could be doing something bigger and better. Something mind-blowing. And this sucked the fun out of my life. Every moment became deprived of joy and a reason to compare my life to what my friends were putting out into the world.

Then one day, I realized something.

"I don't even want to be there."

It was like a bomb went off.

I don't like that artist's music.

I don't want to sky dive.

Coffee shops are too loud for me to work in.

My goal isn't to X.

I've never dreamed of Y.

No relationship is perfect.

Heck. I even realized I like to stay home.

And it gets better. If you know someone you follow on social media in real life, then you know how they portray themselves in both situations. Sometimes these personalities line up. But rarely are people truly authentic online and off. And it's even rarer that their life looks like sunshine and rainbows all the time.

Our lives are messier than we lead others to believe.

The problem with social media is that it can become a front. A blurry line between real and fake. Lately there's been this push to be real, to drop the My Life is Perfect act and just be ourselves. I love this idea and hope it continues to grow.

However, that doesn't fix the recurring F.O.M.O.


What does? Realizing that someone else's ideal life may not line up with your own.

And if it does?

Don't play the blame game.

I don't blame social media for how I feel.

I don't blame my friends for living their lives and sharing them.

I don't blame myself for feeling this way.

But I do recognize that I can change.

Next time you feel like you're missing out, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I even WANT to be there?
  • Is that how I want to live my life?
  • What can I do to change how I feel?
  • How long am I on social media each day?
  • Does this have a positive or negative impact on me?
  • Would I benefit from taking a break from social media for a while?

Do you ever feel like you're missing out? If so, how does that impact your day?



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5 Sweet Words:

  1. I was just telling my siblings about how I have major f.o.m.o. o-o It's like you read my mind- thank you for this. <3

    xx Kenz

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  2. Asking yourself those questions are so important!! Also oh my gosh sooooo felt fomo when taylor swift came to my city haha.

    Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl

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  3. Social media can definitely be an easy way to feel like we have to keep up and compare ourselves to others, and that is something I definitely struggle with from time to time, too. I think your advice of gauging how much time you're actually spending on social media is important. Because it can warp our minds for sure! It's more important to just be real, our authentic selves. I think when I have FOMO feelings or jealousy, it's best to log off and have meaningful conversations with the people I love. Or journal! :)

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  4. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, and you don't even realize you didn't want that for yourself in the first place. Fomo is such and important but nagging feeling, right?

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  5. Hello hello!! This post is going to save me! <3 oh how I enjoy your blog.

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